Ansuz has always been about self expression for me.
During my 2 + weeks with Ansuz I noticed that in situations where I hide or decide to “not disclose” my true self, I am doing a disservice to myself and my gifts. I am more aware of oppressive environments, situations where I feel like my true self wouldn’t be accepted. I am making inroads to removing myself from these groups and focusing on activities that can express and grow my gifts in my way. The reason I am so confused and afraid in my life is because I am trying to be something I am not. I don’t necessarily know what those things are, but I know that some of the instances where I keep to myself are because I feel I would be misunderstood if I were to say what is really on my mind. I also don’t want to take responsibility for having that opinion.
Ansuz showed me there is more to my mission in this human form and I have to cultivate an open discussion with Odin and the other gods to find out what that is. Practicing self expression, as difficult and scary as it may be, will allow me to find the untrodden place where all sides of me can flourish and bring value to others. I am taking longer than two weeks with each rune. Some of this is procrastination in writing what I experience. I also realize I might not need two weeks for some runes, just as I might take longer with others. I can feel the new rune emerging and know when it’s time to work with it.
In a reading that I did for myself, Tiwaz very prominently appeared and I took some time with it. My query was about my destiny and both Perthro – the destiny rune – and Tiwaz were merkstave. Jera was also present but in a sideways, or blocked position. I could see that the fruits of my labor were present, but I wasn’t allowing them. My warrior destiny could not emerge until I had allowed the harvest of all the knowledge I have come to sow over the last few years. Soon after the reading I spent some time with a friend, and as I came out of her house there was a Tiwaz branch, pointing to the right as if to say it was coming around. I kept that branch as a reminder to always stand upright and be true.